Things I will probably never utter otherwise

Hey. I've been meaning to tell you this, but I'm such a big damn coward. My courage now probably comes from my hormones, but anyway...

I LIKED YOU.

Notice the past tense. I DID. I don't know if I still do, but I want to believe for now that I don't anymore. So that I can make myself believe I can tell you this now. So that I can still convince myself that I had a chance with you, but one of us was dense and I refuse to believe it was you. Or me. Just leave it at 'one of us'.

I don't know what to believe anymore. This game isn't working for me. I will always be hurting myself. I'm going to try to let go so I can still retain what little dignity I have left. I don't want to sound like I own you. I never did. I probably never will.

Truth is, I don't know you. I don't know why I liked you in the first place. And here I am, telling you something I'm not even sure you'll get.

Sorry. I'm in such a mess.

Bye. I don't know if that's the last.